For me, breastfeeding has created a special bond between me and my son and has been an important part of my motherhood. I have been blessed to be able to continue my breastfeeding journey with my little boy who is now over 3 years old. I understand and recognize that breastfeeding may not be the right fit for every family. There are many stresses and challenges that come with breastfeeding and each mother needs to make the choice that is best for her and her family. My heart goes out to all those who have struggled with breastfeeding.
Has it always been easy for us? Definitely not!! Did I think we would still be nursing at this point? Honestly, no, but am happy to still be able to support and comfort him this way.. I had no specific goals or plans beyond a year (after we had success for 6 months). Each mom and baby have different needs and challenges, but for us, this was a realistic goal. Nursing for us has certainly changed and evolved over time.
In the beginning, his tongue tie presented us with some small challenges which improved with laser frenectomy correction and chiropractic care. As he grew and developed, I saw how nursing helped him thrive. Being able to snuggle close with my little guy and nurture him has been so special. From providing nourishment in the early months to easing pains from boo-boos (big and small…and there have been many bumps and bruises along the way) to being his safe place and calming him when upset, knowing I was there to provide comfort and relief has been the most incredible, rewarding experience.
My son has always loved his “milky”—there were days he would nurse over 15 times a day! Some nursing sessions would last well over an hour, especially in the infant stage or before naps. Nursing on demand has worked for us, and I feel it has been my best way to support his needs as he grew. As he grew and was no longer in the newborn stage, feedings decreased and became easier.
After starting solids, he continued to love nursing and would still nurse several times a day. In 2020 when COVID hit, I was thankful I was able to continue sharing the benefits of the immune support from breastmilk. My body did not respond well to pumping and I often struggled to pump enough for more than a day or two supply. Unfortunately, due to COVID, I was laid off from the clinic where I was working. I was saddened to not be able to care for patients, but was relieved when I did not have to pump. Thinking back, I am not sure if we would still be in this breastfeeding journey if I had not been able to stay at home with him in 2020. He continued to nurse several times a day, especially before and after sleeping or for comfort.
The hardest period for us was during teething, which of course comes with its own challenges. At times it was so uncomfortable and even painful! As his latch changed and teeth became a factor, I definitely felt it. I even suffered from pretty severe clogged ducts which thankfully did not result in mastitis, thanks to the help and support from my lactation consultant and friend, Betsy. Thankfully, the times of discomfort didn’t last more than a few weeks and he figured out how to nurse without hurting his mama. I’m grateful that breastfeeding has been helpful for soothing him during these times and providing nutrients to support his growth.
Like most toddlers, my son is an active little guy and has had his share of bumps, bruises, and falls…including 2 trips to the ER and a broken bone. Being able to comfort him through nursing and support his healing has been such a beautiful experience. I am thankful to be able to help him in this way.
Nursing beyond the infant stage is not common in the US. I have also encountered differing opinions from people around me, but my focus is my son and our bond. Many are surprised to learn that it is very common for children to nurse until the age of 4 or 5 in many other countries (the world average is 4 years of age!). The World Health Organization (WHO) recommends breastfeeding through the age of 2. The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) previously had recommended 6 months, but now has modified their recommendations to match the WHO to encourage and support nursing through age 2. Of course, this may not fit all families, however, I’m happy to see a shift in our communities to support women and their children. Each child and mother have different needs. Children will wean when the time is right for them.
I have learned so much about motherhood, my son, and myself through our breastfeeding journey. Our bond is so strong and so close, which I know has been enriched from our special time together. Some of the most important lessons have been about patience, especially for myself. I find that I am a lot more flexible and relaxed about life, as each feeding can be so different and his needs ever changing. Have there been times I’ve felt overwhelmed? For sure! While I so enjoy being able to nurse my son, there are times when I may have felt frustrated or being pulled to do something else. Nothing is as sweet as nursing my sweet babe to sleep and knowing he feels safe and secure laying on me. This often has resulted in hours of me sitting, nursing, or rocking my little guy. I have found myself thinking, “I should get up and be productive (with household chores or personal tasks),” or sometimes feeling overwhelmed that he needed me so much…but then I pause and remember: THIS is important! Nothing is more important than me being here for my child and this moment right now.
I am so blessed to have the support of family and friends, especially my husband, during this journey along with so many wonderful colleagues, including lactation consultants. Without their help, breastfeeding would have not been as successful as it has been, nor would I have had this experience to be able to share with other mothers.
So what now? Only time will tell how long he will want to nurse. He is slowly weaning himself and becoming more independent. Some days I think this may be the day when instead of asking for his “mama milky” the moment he wakes up, he instead, rolls over, climbs out of bed, and starts chasing the cat and continues non-stop the rest of the day. But come bed time, he’s asking for his mama and his “milky.” I have been blessed to be able to still give him his “milky.” My heart is so full with love and pride that I’ve been able to support my little one both physically and emotionally through nursing these past few years. I know there will be a day when he doesn’t want or need his mama the way he does now. Until then, I’ll soak up the sweet moments we have and I will always treasure our special time together.