Pregnancy loss is more common than many of us realize, and an unfortunate pain felt by so many. There’s often no announcement, no gathering, and no words that feel big enough. Yet about 1 in 4 pregnancies ends in loss, which means almost everyone knows someone carrying this kind of love.
Because these losses are so often unseen, many families grieve in silence. Friends and loved ones may not know what to say, and the world moves on quickly. But for the one who is carrying it, the love is real, the loss is real, and it deserves to be honored.
If you're that mother, or that father, or someone who loved this little one, please know: your baby mattered, and so does your grief.
I know this ache personally. I lost my first pregnancy at the start of my second trimester. It was a pain I had never before experienced; it rocked my world and changed my life. I've learned that grief and love can live in the same heart, and that healing, though slow, is possible. Our rainbow baby came the following year, and today I carry my baby in Heaven and my boys here on Earth together in my heart.
If you're the friend or loved one standing nearby wondering what to say, you don't need perfect words. Here's what I've learned, both as a mom and as a doctor:
Say their name. If a baby was given a name, use it. Remembering is a gift.
Skip the silver linings. "Everything happens for a reason" rarely lands softly. "I'm so
sorry. I'm here." does.
Show up in small ways. A meal, a walk, a text that says "no need to reply," just being
there to listen.
Remember the hard dates. Due dates and anniversaries can hit long after everyone
else has moved on. A simple message that day means the world.
Care for the body, too. Grief can affect sleep, digestion, energy, and how we carry
tension in our bodies. Gentle movement, rest, nourishment, and supportive care can be
part of healing.
There’s no right way to do any of this and no pressure to do it all. What matters most is that they know their baby, and their hearts, have not been forgotten.
If You're the One Grieving
There is no timeline for this kind of loss, and no right way to move through it. Some days will feel steady, and others may catch you off guard, like a song, a due date, or a baby announcement. All of that is okay. Give yourself grace and patience to grieve and heal.
Be gentle with yourself. Rest when you can. Tell your story to someone who will listen. Lean on whatever steadies you, whether that's family, friends, faith, or a quiet walk outside. You don’t have to carry it all alone.
Join Us for the Wave of Light
On Thursday, October 15 at 7:00 PM, light a candle wherever you are in honor of babies gone too soon. As the hour moves across time zones, candles glow around the world, creating one continuous wave of remembrance. Light one for your own baby, or for someone you love. Your light matters.
You might light it with your family, on your porch, or by yourself in a quiet moment. There's no wrong way to remember. And if October 15 feels like too much this year, that's okay too. You get to choose what honoring your baby looks like.
If You Need Support
You don't have to carry this grief alone. Our team at Cleveland Chiropractic and Integrative Health Center is here to offer supportive care for the body, mind, and spirit. These local resources can also provide support and help you feel less alone along the way:
Cornerstone of Hope: Offers support groups for parents grieving miscarriage, stillbirth, neonatal, or infant loss. Groups are led by professional facilitators and meet weekly for
8–10 weeks each quarter. Their motto is “Never Grieve Alone.” Learn more at
cornerstoneofhope.org.
Pregnancy & Infant Loss (PAIL) Initiative: Offers free healing circles and virtual
support groups specifically for women and families who have experienced miscarriage,
stillbirth, or the loss of an infant. Learn more at pailconnect.org.
Individual grief counseling: A therapist who is experienced in perinatal and
pregnancy/infant loss can provide individualized support as you navigate grief, healing,
and life after loss. Some options include: Changing Lane Counseling, Ebb & Flow
Counseling, Fertility Nest Therapy, Grove Counseling Collective, Holding Space
Therapy, SunWalk Counseling & Consulting Services, LLC
Local hospitals and organizations: Cleveland Clinic, University Hospitals, and other
local organizations offer resources and support for families experiencing pregnancy and
infant loss. Your OB, midwife, or the hospital where you received care may also be able
to connect you with current local resources.
To every mother, father, and family carrying this kind of love and loss: your baby is remembered, your grief is seen, and you do not have to walk this road alone.
Your little one will always matter. 💛
With love and light,
Dr. Abbey
clechiropractic.com
@clechiropractic
216-952-3830