The Wave of Light: Honoring Pregnancy and Infancy Loss

The Wave of Light: Honoring Pregnancy and Infancy Loss

Every mother remembers the moment she first imagined holding her baby. For some, that dream unfolds just as imagined. For others, the journey of motherhood brings unexpected heartache, longing, and loss.

Like many other women, I dreamed of the day I would hold my sweet baby in my arms and embrace all that motherhood brings. Sadly, my first pregnancy ended before that dream came true. I never imagined that my own journey would begin this way.

That season of pain taught me that grief and growth often share the same space. My loss revealed emotions I had never felt before and brought healing I never expected. It was healing I did not even realize I needed. I learned so much about myself, motherhood, faith, and life, which has helped me and many others on our motherhood journeys.

Pregnancy and infant loss touch far more families than most realize. One in four women will experience this kind of loss, each with a story and a love that endures. Whether a mother held her baby in her womb or in her arms, that connection is real and forever.

Grief after loss is deep and personal. It can feel heavy, isolating, and unending at times. Please know that you are not alone, and that healing is possible.

My Story

When I experienced a miscarriage at the start of my second trimester, my heart shattered. I had dreamed of being a mom for as long as I could remember, and when I lost my baby, I felt like a part of me was gone too.

Healing took time, both for my body and for my heart. I leaned on my faith, my family, my friends, and my colleagues. Through that season of pain, I learned that grief and growth often coexist. My loss opened my eyes to emotions and experiences I had never known, and it deepened my compassion as a mother, a wife, and a doctor.

The following year, we were blessed with our rainbow baby, our first son, who brought light and joy back into our lives. A few years later, we welcomed our second son, another precious gift who has added even more joy, love, and laughter to our family. I am beyond grateful for my baby in Heaven and both of my boys here on Earth. Each one has shaped who I am and continues to remind me of the blessings that can follow heartbreak and challenge.

Finding Healing After Loss

There is no single path to healing, and there is no timeline. But here are some things that may help bring light into the darkness:

Allow yourself to grieve: Feel every emotion that comes, from sadness and anger to confusion and guilt. Healing begins when we allow ourselves to express what is in our hearts.

Lean on support: Whether it is family, close friends, or a support group, being surrounded by understanding hearts helps lighten the load and facilitates healing.

Find meaning and remembrance: Some parents plant a tree, create art, or wear jewelry that honors their baby. For me, planting a butterfly garden became a way to feel connection and peace: a living reminder that love continues to grow.

Seek spiritual connection: Books such as Spirit Babies helped me find comfort and healing when I needed it most. Faith is important to me and was a vital part of my healing. Trust your intuition to find what brings you peace.

The Wave of Light

On October 15 at 7:00 PM, families all over the world will light a candle in honor of Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. This collective moment of love, known as The Wave of Light, symbolizes the unity of hearts across the globe remembering babies gone too soon.

We invite you to join us in lighting a candle wherever you are. Whether you have experienced loss yourself or are standing in support of a loved one, your light matters. Together, we can bring warmth, remembrance, and hope.

If You Need Support

If you or someone you know is walking through the pain of loss, please remember that you do not have to navigate it alone. Our team is here to support you with gentle, holistic care as you heal: body, mind, and heart.

To all the mothers and families who carry this kind of love and loss, our hearts are with you.

With love and light,

Dr. Abbey

The Wave of Light: Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance

“All I ever wanted to be was a mom.” Many can resonate with this phrase and have probably heard other women say it, too. Unfortunately, the journey to motherhood isn’t always the perfect and happy experience many women imagine. The road to motherhood can be long, complicated, and painful, with challenges and losses. More and more women and their families and loved ones not only struggle to have children but also face losses. While there may be many factors that may contribute to these unfortunate losses, the reality is that loss is part of life. Sadly, 1 in 4 women have felt the pain and loss of having to say goodbye too soon to their baby (or even babies). Whether having held her baby in the womb or in her arms, a mother knows the heart and soul of her little one. The pain of loss can be overwhelming and debilitating. While days are certainly darker following the loss of a baby, know that brighter days lie ahead.

I can relate as I, too, am 1 in 4. While I was never able to hold my sweet baby in my arms, I felt my baby’s soul. I had always looked forward to being a mother and was so excited when I was pregnant. Then I had a miscarriage at the start of my second trimester. My heart felt like it was ripped out and I lost part of myself. I was so connected to my baby and never expected my first pregnancy to end in a painful loss. It took months for my body to heal and the weight of the sadness to not be so heavy. I was blessed with amazing support of family and friends. I believe that we grow through what we go through. My loss opened my eyes to a world I never knew, to emotions and pains I could never imagine. I’m grateful for what I learned from my loss as I have been able to grow as a mother, wife, woman, and doctor. Our society typically has not made it easy or comfortable for women and families to share this grief or loss. My loss opened the door for many in my life to reach out for help and support. I am so honored and thankful for their trust to help them and their families heal through their losses and fertility struggles. Healing is a process and certainly different for each person. Fortunately, we were blessed to get pregnant again the year after our loss. My son, my rainbow baby, has certainly been an important part of my healing. I am so grateful for both my babies.

While nothing can ever replace the precious life that was lost, there are ways to help cope with the grief and pain. First, allow yourself to be sad and grieve. This intensity of sadness will not last forever. Personally, I found comfort in the support of family and friends. Books and blogs can be helpful as well. Knowing you can share and relate with others is an important part of the healing process. I was introduced to the book Spirit Babies; it provided light and insight on ways to heal through the grief and connect with myself and baby. When you feel ready, connecting with a support group can be healing as well. A special piece of jewelry or art can be a beautiful way to celebrate their life and keep their presence in your life. Many find it healing to remember their baby through planting a tree or flower. We planted a butterfly garden as butterflies symbolize the souls of lost loved ones. Seeing the garden grow each year and the beautiful butterflies gathering warms my heart and is a special remembrance of my baby. Listen to your heart for what feels right for you and your family to heal and remember your precious baby.

Join us October 15th at 7:00pm and light a candle in remembrance and honor of all the sweet babies gone too soon. This special remembrance is called “The Wave of Light” and can be felt and experienced worldwide. All are welcome to participate as we honor these special souls.

If you or a loved one have lost a precious little one, we send you love, healing vibes, and prayers. Know that you are not alone. Please do not hesitate to reach out to us if you need support.

Sending you love and light.

-Dr. Abbey